I'm Back! I may not be better than ever, but I think I'm ok, now.

Astoria last weekend! I actually recently was
able to complete a sweater for myself! Oh,
do I adore knitting!

I have been sick for about 8 or 9 years -- and thinking about it after the fact, maybe a lot longer. And here is something I have learned in that time: The demons of chronic illness and pain, no matter how hard you try to ignore them or outrun them, will eventually hunt you down and demand that you deal with them. It is only a matter of time.

Believing that other people may be able to relate to my story, I am going to share it here with you all in shortened form. It isn't dramatic, but for me and others like me, it is instead frustrating and often drawn out far too long.

About 9 years ago, I started getting what I call "little fevers." They never went anywhere, never would develop into full-blown flu or anything else. I just felt bad. After a year of missing random days of work here and there, I went to the doctor for a pain in my side. That same day, I had a CT scan and was given an immediate referral to a surgeon, who said my gallbladder was very inflamed and had large stones; it had to come out the very next day. Once it was out, I had relief for about 18 months. But the relief ended. My stomach hurt -- all the time. And I was living with persistent nausea and IBS.

At that point, I slowly -- very slowly -- began walking down a path of confusing nutritional problems, starting out with learning about gluten intolerance through my regular family doctor. At his suggestion, I strictly eliminated gluten from my diet for 6 weeks and got so much relief that I stayed with it. After a while I was not quite so strict with that elimination and, alas, that initial relief also did not last. But I kept thinking it would just go away; after all, I was too busy to deal with this. I had family demands, along with church, kids' school, volunteer and work obligations! Who has time to be sick?? And anyway, other people have such bigger problems than mine. Mine was really more of a distraction than an illness. Such were my rationalizations.

Fast forward a few years. Growing a bit more weary and seeking more answers, I started seeing a GI doc, and she was very helpful in many ways. She had me do "the gluten challenge" to look for celiac disease. This challenge includes eating a LOT of gluten for several weeks leading up to an endoscopy, where they look for intestinal damage from the gluten you have been eating. While I was not diagnosed with celiac disease, I did have a fire-engine red stomach after eating all the gluten, which the GI doc told me to stop eating altogether, as though I do have celiac. She also diagnosed me with Barrett's Esophagus, which is damage to the lining of the esophagus from long-term acid reflux. 

I wondered aloud about this acid reflux to my doctor, as I had never had acid reflux symptoms before -- except after my gallbladder was removed. Without my gallbladder, I had begun burping all the time after eating or drinking anything, even water. I mentioned to them that I'd read about bile reflux, too. Could that be a problem, since I had no gallbladder? What should I do? I started asking nutrition questions. Surely, there could be an answer using or eliminating foods. But my GI doc didn't seem to know what to do with nutrition questions. They wanted me to take Prilosec for life. I persisted on the nutrition idea and they gave me a copy of The Low FODMAP Diet and said, "You could try this." 

No go. The diet nothing for me. So I struggled along for another couple of years with pain, nausea and IBS symptoms. And just to top it all off, I became pre-diabetic. What the crap!? Was this going to be my life?!

Somewhere amidst the years of digestive distress, I had also been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease in my neck, bone spurs and all. No nerve damage (yet), just achingly painful. A combination of factors played into this:  I was previously rear-ended just as college was ending, in 2008 or so; and I had been a dental hygienist for a handful of years at the time of diagnosis. My job (along with all dental jobs, really) is well-known for trashing people's upper backs and necks. Often, it is just a matter of time before the pain is too much; people often quit. 

I had been through 2 chiropractors, and in the spring of 2017 was starting with a third. This time, I thought, I should try a chiropractor who provided muscle imbalance training/physical therapy. So, I selected an office that showed promise on that front. I won't tell that whole story, but suffice it to say that while they were much more to my liking than the other chiropractic offices I had tried, I had to ask earnestly for home exercises. There response to me was surprise, "No one ever wants them or does them," they said with raised eyebrows. They seemed shocked that I would try to help myself. (I say they should educate people more on that front, but I digress.)

With still only limited success with the third chiropractor, I had had enough. I could no longer even do the things I loved. Working in the yard all day was too much. I was lucky to get a couple of hours before the pain was too much. Knitting? That posture was too close to my work posture -- head down -- and was exacerbating my neck pain. I had to choose work over knitting. I had all but stopped. That made me really sad. And food! Not only have I always loved to prepare and eat it myself, but I have also always been the "family caterer." It is me who brings the greater family together at holidays and creates the warm, happy atmosphere that so often centers around good food. Now, food felt like an enemy. So my health, hobbies and even my enjoyment of family traditions seemed too all be slipping away. 

Even then, as I was really beginning to feel beaten down by my own body and circumstances, a secret goal was forming in my mind at that time: Get off the chiropractor, and figure out my digestive distress for myself. Both things, once and for all, by the end of the year.

In September of 2017, I made a choice. I knew I had to act drastically to get results. I also knew I had been avoiding action for what seemed like an eternity. My combination of inaction, confusion and frustration was sort of crippling, really. In fact, I didn't even know if I had enough energy left in me to try anymore. It may have been unreasonable, but that's where I was.

I tried to focus, to simplify. My goals boiled down to these two things:
1. Get strong enough to hold my body in position to do my job 4 days a week at 8 hours a day.
2. Figure out which foods may have been contributing to my problems and STOP EATING THEM!

First, I joined a gym. In fact, I had been a group fitness instructor -- ACE and AFAA certified -- for 12 years before pursuing dentistry. In addition, I was a human biology/physiology major in college. So to be honest, my shame was strong on the fitness front. I had not been to a gym in 12 years, and I knew better. I knew I needed strength to commit to a dental hygiene profession. And I had not. I ate my pride and started at the gym, feeling a bit fragile and knowing I'd have to be careful and mentally prepared for that road to be long and hard.

Around that same time, I heard about the Whole30 diet from two of my patients at work. They had felt much better after the strict 30-day elimination diet. What about that? I thought, It sounds like elimination of inflammatory foods. I think I could use that. I bought the book and the cook book, recruited my husband to support me and just went for it. I felt all-in. The Halloween of 2017 was the first Halloween in my entire life that I did not eat a single piece of candy. 

By the time I saw my GI doctor for a 3-month follow up after my latest endoscopy, I had lost 7

My hubby and I at a LaSalle High School
fundraiser in January and me in new jeans! I can't
remember the last time I actually
enjoyed shopping for them!

pounds and was feeling digestively wonderful. She was pleased. She told me, "We've seen people have a lot of success on these anti-inflammatory diets." I did not ask why she had never mentioned that before, or why they had not simply referred me to a dietician. She did tell me she was glad I was trying things on my own, and offered some helpful advice to start and maintain a probiotic. Easy enough, I thought, I added it in. 

For me, the end of all of this food sleuthing meant permanently eliminating gluten, soy and dairy (which, to be fair, my GI doc had mentioned in passing once that I should consider that dairy might be another intolerance, as those who cannot have gluten commonly cannot have dairy either). I now eat lots of vegetables, lean meats and legumes, I continue to have to make my own mayonnaise and salad dressings (most of those two commercial items have soybean oil) and I can still have coffee and some gluten-free treats. I limit my sugar intake (to help arthritic inflammation) and I do eat fruit, but I don't love fruit so I make smoothies with frozen bananas, hemp hearts, almond butter and almond milk. Oh! And cinnamon.

I have maintained an exercise regimen of cardio (I started out with treadmill walking, and now, after gaining some strength, toggle between "HIIT" treadmill sprinting and outdoor walking/running), weights and core strength training, which includes yoga at home. (I love Yoga with Adriene!) I don't rule out needing my chiropractor in the future, but I hope I will not be needing to go in 3 times a week ever again. That was tedious and a lot more expensive than the gym!

Now, 7 months later, I have incidentally also lost nearly 25 pounds -- losing weight was not specifically a goal, but a very welcome "side effect" of healthy digestion combined with some moderate exercise. It feels good to keep having to clean out the closet, taking more and more clothes to The Goodwill because they are too big. And a couple of weeks ago, I even put on all the pants I had been saving, some of which I purchased at 33 years old (16 years ago)! I had forgotten what my body felt like before having our last child (number 6 in our family, and my 5th biological child), but I am regaining that feeling now as I approach 50 years old. My energy is much improved and I am back to enjoying a lot of fun things.

AND, I can knit again and work, too. (NEWSFLASH: GET READY FOR A LOT OF KNITTING, SEWING, GARDENING AND ALL AROUND CRAFTINESS!!) No, things are not totally perfect, and my neck still gives me a little trouble but I hope as I continue to get stronger -- and maintain much better posture -- that it will bother me less and less. Even if it stays the same as now, I don't even care anymore! What I have now is so much better than it was that I'll take where I am now, and gladly. Here are a couple of "before and after" pics, just for fun:

First size medium shirt I've had in years!
Silly science, of course!

New Orleans, last August.
Who wouldn't eat Beignets at Cafe du Monde?! Here
you can see my "sick" face, which was often puffy.

New Orleans last August, posing with Amy Rose and Annie.

Rose City Yarn Crawl, PDX two weeks ago! Feeling much healthier. 

For anyone in my shoes and/or wanting to get healthier, please please please check with your doctor before embarking on any diet or exercise program! My diabetes educator turned out to be a great help through my family physicians office, for example. And get checked out when and if you feel sick, even if you don't think "it's anything,"you never know. Be safe!